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Matthaus madness strikes Netanya
By Dor Belach

No one had a hangover the morning after a cocktail party was held in honor of the arrival of German soccer legend Lothar Matthaus, Maccabi Netanya's coach for the next season. Indeed, the city was abuzz and a flood of reporters flowed to the town hall where a press conference was held. Even Maccabi Netanya owner, Daniel Jammer, who usually stays away from the press, took his time to schmooze with the journalists. "This is our big day," Jammer addressed reporters.

"I want to turn over a new page with the press. Today is the last day you can be meddlesome and nasty. Don't forget: From now on, your words will reach the world. This is a historic day for soccer. I want to prove we are a strong country, not one full of idiots," said Jammer.
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Netanya Mayor Miriam Feierberg also espoused the theories that Matthaus might have the power to bring world peace and save the polar bears from extinction. "Other than not speaking Hebrew, he's a real sabra," she said, using the term for Israeli-born Jews. Then she took a moment to poignantly thank outgoing coach Reuven Atar. "He's an indispensable part of the Maccabi Netanya family," she said. "I even dressed up as him for Purim."

Matthaus tried to put things in proportion: "It's only football. I'm happy to be here but the coach can't win alone." Then he described the series of choirs and tasks he has to take care of during his current three-day visit. "I have to find an apartment and buy a car - I didn't even bring a bathing suit," he grumbled.

He also talked about the circumstances that brought him to Israel and the careers of his former teammates in the German national squad. "So what if Rudi Voller and Jurgen Klinsmann are in Germany and I am in Israel? I came here because I love this sport and think one can succeed in any place. They say I'm an average coach? I'll prove them otherwise. Don't forget I may have been in lower-tier leagues, but I won championships and they didn't.
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